I like the internet

This:
"Translated, that means, and I’m sorry for being so graphic, Screech wants you to pay 50 bucks to watch him put his privates in a woman’s behind, pull it out, then paint her a mustache with his thing.
I say 'No.'"

And also this:
"Whether American or Australian, every human life is valuable; otherwise it makes it appear that Mr. Stainton thinks that only one man's is."

Booze helped too.

Are you sick of reading "the iPod turned five let's all talk about the iPod," stories yet?


"It would be a bit much to say that the iPod helped us heal from the wounds of 9/11 –- or would it?"

Okay, how about now?
That is shit writing on such a profoundly shitty level that it not only makes me hate the article (normal reaction to bad writing), and by extension feel like the guy writing it is kind of a douche (severely bad), but is actually making me second-guess my plan to buy a new iPod (off the scale, must buy a new scale because this one is broken now). You know what helped us heal from the wounds of 9/11? Booze and terror sex and the scene from Young Frankenstein where they sing "Puttin on the Ritz," and as much of all of those as we could handle. Not a hard drive with headphones.
Don't try to cheapen terror sex's contribution.

Rollllin' (?)

So you guys can't even mention something that may or may not allude to another male-type human being without having to say, "No homo," and yet you are down with rollerblading. Thanks, Dipset, for finding even yet still more ways to make no sense at all. You've done more to damage my mind than drugs ever did.

We have a winner

From the comments section of Stereogum's post about Ice-T's explicit new album art:

"stripper-wife" is not a phrasal adjective, and therefore should not be hyphenated. stripper-prostitute wife would be a correct use of a hyphen to denote a phrasal adjective.

Congratulations, "redbook." You just won the internet.

ZAP!

People bag on supergroups all the time, like saying they're never as good as the members' original bands. But whatever. Damn Yankees were way kickass, Coverdale/Page was like, "Zeppelin what?" and that one band that had Linda Ronstadt playing with Captain America, Doctor Strange, and C-3PO was the fucking shit.

If your band doesn't have a guitar player who shreds by shooting bolts of magical lightning out of his fingers you should just give up. Maybe work on your ping pong game instead.
Found by clicking on a link to the Portland Mercury on the J-Shep Cowboyz n Poodles blog.

The truth, however humble

From Julianne's interview with DFA/LCD/WHTVR homeboy James Murphy:

Murphy: I liked hip-hop, but not as dance music. I liked Public Enemy. I liked Native Tongues. But I never thought of it as dancing, never really thought about dancing at all until '99. It was good music for my car.


URGE: What happened in '99?


Murphy: I took ecstasy, like everybody else.