I'm doing some simultaneous cooking and cleaning, and I've ended up setting the mop and its bucket near the stove in a way such that I need to step over and around it in order to check on the Rice-A-Roni, but I'm too lazy to do anything to fix it, and I'm in fact so not into moving it that I'll sit here and write about it on the internet instead of fixing it.
Item 1: "How'd We Make Tootie Fruities Taste Like Froot Loops? We asked consumers in a nation-wide survey, and they say Tootie Fruities taste like Froot Loops. We guarantee you'll agree!" I like the Tootie Fruities box. I can't decide if I like that they spell Fruities more properly than Froot, the tug between the part of me that respects the correctness of it versus how kind of schoolmarmy it is compared with Kellogg's more whimsical variation leaves me confused. But there's a blue kangaroo in Wayfarers with an orange baby kangaroo, named Cool Blue and Li'L Oaty, most likely by a production artist who was given under two minutes to create and name two mascots who will never be used for anything beyond the box containing the product itself. Cool Blue's leanback pose and Li'L Oaty's "Fuckit" gesturing indicate two trademarked beings perfectly chill not in spite of, but because of, their disconnect from any context at all. "Don't sweat it, dude," they're saying to me. "Who needs meaning when you're this fucking cool? Liberate yourself from seeking a place in the world around you and you can kick it like us, all stoned out on contextual freedom." Maybe, dudes. I don't know. I also like how the response to "How'd We Make Tootie Frooties Taste Like Froot Loops" completely avoids answering the question, a question that the box poses to itself and avoids. Also, Tootie Frooties are on sale for a dollar a box. They do, in fact, taste like Froot Loops.
Item 2: The new name of my solo project is Black Magic Threeway.
Item 3: Rice-A-Roni is also on sale for a dollar a box. And while I was blogging about Tootie Fruities my Rice-A-Roni was busy boiling down into a thick, porridgey mass. Cool Blue's telling to not to sweat it, but the shit kind of makes me want to puke.