Saturday, January 08, 2005

Friends, enemies, and assholes, and where they all meet up in the middle.

Losing friends
Losing friends
You got nothing to lose
You don't lose when you lose fake friends.

-Joan Jett - "Fake Friends" - Album (Blackheart/MCA 757, 1983)

I've lost a lot of friends before. I've lost them for reasons of geography and time; because I drank too much or not enough; because I'm an asshole; because I was a stoner and then because I stopped being a stoner; for a while I was just pissing people off to keep myself entertained when my ego had outgrown the little pond I was living in. But I've never lost the closest friend I've had for the past decade over a girl, which is to say I am only just now starting to live the existential late-20s life that bad movies are made of. If movies tell us how to live our lives (they do), I guess now I'm supposed to go on a long solo road trip to discover first the Spirit of America, then Myself, then True Love, possibly with whoever plays the Patricia Arquette characters now. What I will probably do, though, is continue to sit around my apartment, where the stench of cliche is overwhelmed only by the metric tons of bullshit people keep dumping in my lap, and work on my genius projects. And I've got my cat. If she tries to ditch me she'll starve to death, which is just the kind of friend I need right now.

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